Taking Action

I did something scary this weekend.

Something I’ve been mulling over for at least a few weeks.

Something I thought I couldn’t find enough time to actually make happen. When in reality I was procrastinating and doing unimportant tasks that filled up the hours and made it APPEAR as though I had run out of time.

So yesterday, after a long conversation with a good friend and fellow entrepreneur, I finally did it.

I had already spent two hours scrolling through meaningless social media when I told myself that that was enough. I had to make a move.

So I did.

And in doing so, I felt a mix of both freedom and elation and the weightiness of FEAR.

The thoughts of doubt. The thoughts saying that I couldn’t do it. That it wouldn’t work. That I would be a complete and utter failure. They were all there.

And I’m still struggling with them.

Do I know what I’m doing? No.

Will this be a steep learning curve? Yes.

Will I make mistakes? Yes.

Can it fail? Quite possibly.

But will I be happy I tried? Yes. 

Will I regret taking action? Ultimately, no matter happens, no.

So in the end its worth it.

And in a way I launched this community as much for myself as for others.

So what is it?

Well first let me explain one thing. I rebranded my website under The Rested Entrepreneur. That was the original goal of starting a website and it finally felt like it was time to shift everything over. My website is still under my own name, but the primary domain has changed. As well as the layout.

And…

I launched a community. On Facebook.

I decided that in order to provide value and learn more about what other entrepreneurs needed in order to feel balance in their lives - that I should launch a closed group - or a community - for those looking for the same thing.

And don’t get me wrong, I am in no means the shining example of this. In fact, I am often the opposite. 

Struggling with energy, self-doubt, depression, overwhelm...all of it (cue the negative self talk here).

But one thing I do know is that I am tired of seeing friends working to the point of burnout. Tired of the endless lists of productivity hacks. Of sleep hacks. Of ways to squeeze more activity into your day. Of quotes that are supposedly motivating, but instead create unnecessary levels of guilt about how much YOU got done today. 

I’m tired of the productivity narrative telling us to wake up early, take care of your body, run a business, have a family and look perfect the whole time and repeat the next day - and saying its easy with these ”easy to implement steps”. It’s not. It’s not natural. And I would argue that it is far more likely people burn out rather than ever make it to success with this game plan.

So I did it. 

I created the Facebook community under the same name as my website, The Rested Entrepreneur.

At this point in time I have no idea where it will lead me, but I do know one thing - it is something I needed to do. So I did. 

And the value of action often far outweighs anything else.

So if you would like to join, just send me a request over Facebook and I will be sure to include you in this experiment called community.

My hope is that it takes a life of its own. But we will see. 

And that’s part of the excitement.

Not This

I sat at my cold glass dining table under the glaring white lights, long into the cold of the night, writing a list of pros and cons with trembling hands. Earlier in the evening I had spent time debating with myself, praying to (more like screaming at) God, speaking with my roommate and crying endlessly. 

I was torn to pieces. 

I had thought - only a year and a half earlier - that I had found the perfect job.

Boy was I wrong.

As Elizabeth Gilbert says,

"Most of us, at some point in our lives (unless we have done everything perfectly...which is: nobody) will have to face a terrible moment in which we realize that we have somehow ended up in the wrong place — or at least, in a very bad place."

How many of us have ended up in this "bad place"? Face down. Exhausted. At the bottom. Feeling like you just HAVE to make a change. There is no more waiting.

Well I certainly did in 2014.

Not only did my situation end up less than ideal, it had turned toxic. 

It frankly wasn’t good for me: emotionally, physically (stress) or spiritually. 

Did I have any idea what I was going to do next? 

No.

Did I have a Plan B? 

No.

Did I have any idea how this decision would alter the future?

No.

But did I know I had to leave?

Absolutely.

It was a deep, gut wrenching sense of 

NOT THIS.

My heart, mind, body, soul - every part of me was screaming 

NOT THIS.

I had to get out. 

So I did.

By the end of that evening - before I even went to bed - I had a resignation letter drafted and ready to go for the morning. 

And I felt peace.

Yes I was terrified. I had no idea what I was going to do. And I absolutely did not want to leave my home - Cape Town, South Africa prematurely.

I was risking my entire life. The life I had spent so much time, heart and soul building. This decision could destroy it all in a moment.

Regardless of that, I knew the decision had to be made.

I had already waited too long. I had had that unmistakable sinking feeling after only a few months and had decided to hang on even as everything started slipping out of control.

I knew that even with the terrifying prospect of not knowing what was next, or how this decision would change things - that staying in my home would become increasingly difficult without a miracle - I absolutely had to listen to that gut feeling screaming, NOT THIS - because anything was better than where I found myself.

So when the moment came, I handed over my resignation letter without regret.

I knew I had done the right thing. And only relief swept over me as I walked away that day. 

Since I was at the bottom, I also knew, I could only improve.

Recently, my good friend, fellow blogger and awesome podcaster, Bryan Teare, creator of the Quarter Life Comeback, reminded me of a challenging post written by the wonderful Elizabeth Gilbert titled, Not This .

It struck a chord the first time I read it. And once again it is having the same effect all over again.

In the post she writes about the terrifying moments in life when you realize - NOT THIS.

When you find yourself on the floor emotionally or physically with the realization that something has to change. Must change. 

That you have to leave the job, end the toxic relationship, admit yourself into rehab, leave a community that is slowly poisoning you or walk away from a belief that once defined you but no longer does anymore.

That no matter what you do next, it’s NOT THIS.

In Elizabeths own words,

"If you keep ignoring the voices within you that say NOT THIS, just because you don't know what to do, instead...you may end up stuck in NOT THIS forever.

You don't need to know where you are going to admit that where you are standing right now is wrong.

The bravest thing to say can be these two words.

What comes next?

I don't know. You don't know. Nobody knows. It might be worse. It might be better. But whatever it is...? It's NOT THIS."

So are you getting the feeling that something needs to change? Are you in the middle of your personal NOT THIS moment right now? Have you ever experienced this in the past? If so, please tell me your stories if you feel comfortable below - I would love to hear about how you got to this point and made the change to get out.

Befriending A Rock

“If you were to go on a hike alone, you would befriend a rock.”

I heard this spoken aloud by my dad, in the arrivals terminal at the airport, just after I had told my family about a friend I had made while on the long flight from Dubai to Boston. It was one of those moments when he was commenting upon my uncanny ability to make friends and connections everywhere I go.

I bring this up because I have heard similar comments from various people over the past few years and have always laughed it off or thought nothing of it.

I rarely stop to think about why people comment on it. That in fact it must be something remarkable or different in some way. Possibly even a ‘talent’.

It is a learned behavior from multiple experiences of starting over in new schools, states, communities and countries. But it is something that others struggle with and I find rather fun.

What is funny though is that, to me, it is nothing special. It’s a completely normal part of life. It is something that I enjoy and enriches my life - but I don’t consider it noteworthy.

Which is what I really want to talk about.

I recently re-stumbled across a favorite blog post of mine by writer Mark Mason titled, Screw Finding Your Passion. It challenges the popular notion of going out to find that ever fleeting passion that we supposedly each have.

In it he states,

“Because here’s another point that might make a few people salty: If you have to look for what you’re passionate about, then you’re probably not passionate about it at all.

If you’re passionate about something, it will already feel like such an ingrained part of your life that you will have to be reminded by people that it’s not normal, that other people aren’t like that.”

Which is why I brought up the above quote.

I’ve never considered my ability to connect and build community to be unusual - but in many ways it is - and it’s ultimately a passion of mine.

And I believe each of us have at least one, if not many of these.

In fact, as I think about friends of mine, I can think of things that each one of them is notably good at. 

One friend I went to college with always had the uncanny ability to make a dollar stretch to the very end. I have another friend who absolutely adores writing fiction and completing book writing challenges just for the fun of it. I know another girl who is the go to person for fashion - not that she ever studied it - but because she has an eye for what looks good, and another with an incredible eye for interior design and making any space feel like a home. Another friend of mine is incredible at ballroom dance and yet another has an amazing eye for nature photography.

Not every one of these things is something they will choose to make a living off of - or even make money off of at all - but they are passions and things they naturally gravitate towards that others recognize.

So rather than looking for our passion, maybe its time to start paying attention to what others already say about us. If you’re anything like me, you may not realize that writing a blog for the fun of it on a consistent basis isn’t considered a ‘normal’ activity.

We may find that those sketches we fill our notebooks with while sitting in a meeting isn’t typical of most people. 

Or our obsessive love of a sport or lifestyle isn’t something considered normal and we can provide support and tips to others on the same subject.

Or our ability to host large groups of people and bring them together over a shared meal isn’t something that many people enjoy organizing.

Or that our homemade baked treats we are asked to make for every get together are something special and unique. 

Or the way we make someone feel loved when they are in our presence. 

Many of these traits are unique and shine a light on our passions and natural giftings. 

And I believe if we continue to live pursuing our curiosity, rather than what we think others will deem worthy, that we will find many more of these types of passions with passing time. 

If we choose to do things because we like it - not because of the potential impact it may have on our future - we will be aligned to stumble across those things that are or will become a part of us.

Its a matter of following our curiosity. 

Just as a child chooses an activity due to his love for it - this is the way we should pursue interests in our own life.

Because it is in your curiosity and in those things you assume to be normal that others think are remarkable that you can find your passion.

What is something people always say about you? Let me know in the comments below.