Getting Off The Merry-Go-Round of Life

Alarm buzzes. I hit sleep. Five minutes later it goes off again. I hit sleep again, this time with a bit more annoyance. It happens again. And again. About the third or fourth time I give in.

Its a new day. 

The sun is slowly rising. The room is slowly becoming lighter.

My feet touch the cold hard wood floor and I’m up. 

First step, first. 

Contacts, brush teeth…coffee…

That is as far as my thought process goes.

Soon I will be in a caffeine fueled rush to get out the door, and another day will begin. Just like the last. And work will be work. Then lunch will come and go, and a few hours later I will be headed home, for another evening of activity or lack thereof, before crashing and doing it all over again.

Why do I write this?

Because this is the passing of time. 

And as we all know, time IS our most valuable resource and something we cannot get back.

So what do we do with our limited time?

Many of us continue to live in this cycle of day in and day out - with the days circling through like a merry-go-round.

Some of us though, notice the spinning - and rather than accept it, try to find a way off the merry-go-round.

So what do we want instead?

We want our life to be like a path of wonder and beauty. Of exploration. Of endless days. Of new experiences. 

Now don’t get me wrong, we’re not avoiding hard work or the “harsh reality” that is life (as many people like to remind us).

Rather, we are looking for another way. 

We are looking to find that passion that causes us to launch out of bed and be willing to work until the wee hours of the morning without the whisper of a complaint.

Sure it will be hard. We will be tired. We will have our incredible highs and lows. But we also know it will be worth it - because we are off the merry-go-round of merely existing.

So how do we do this? How do we find this ever elusive thing called a calling?

I believe it lies in our ability to be self-aware.

Do you know what following your gut instinct feels like? Have you been listening to your instinct - what God has been telling you - or have you been ignoring it? Have you even given yourself a moment to be quiet and truthful with yourself? 

Jeff Goins says in his blog, 

“Your life is a mystery, and your job is to study it. Through prayer, meditation, or simple reflection, we all must become more self-aware. This is the only way we can stop letting life happen to us and become more active participants in it.”

When we ignore that ‘gut feeling’ - and many of us do - it can be painful when we finally do stop and listen, because it often tells us things we don’t want to hear or things we have been ignoring.

However, when we are in line with our intuition there is no greater feeling.

It doesn’t mean that things are perfect. 

From personal experience, there have been moments when I knew that something was off - even moments when I knew exactly what the problem was.

Sometimes it was my fault and I continued to ignore the nagging feeling until it came bursting to the surface. 

Other times it has been more subtle. I knew what was wrong but couldn’t change it right away. So rather than ignore the feeling, I recognized it and started the long process of making a change, even if it wasn’t immediate.

This ability to be self-aware and to pray gives us the sense to know when something is right or wrong for us - even when the rest of the world disagrees.

It gives us the insight to turn down that job offer despite what everyone is saying. 

It gives us the confidence to return to school and this time study fine art because you just know that that is what you are supposed to be doing.

It gives us the ability to make the decision to uproot a life that looks amazing to the outsider and choose instead to live in a rural village without basic necessities and work with an organization like the Peace Corps or Doctors Without Borders because it makes your soul come alive.

It means we have a sense of what we should be doing.

It means we have the ability to write our own story.

I believe we all have this ability hidden deep within us and God gives each of us purpose. We just need to spend the time to uncover it.

We all know when something feels right or when it feels wrong - even when it is the opposite of what others tell us.

Unfortunately distractions today are easier to come by than ever, so it is increasingly easy to ignore our own gut instinct.

I sometimes wonder what would happen to American society if everyone was forced away from their chosen distractions…

Would people become more aware? Would there be a sudden shift towards increased consciousness? Would we find more people challenging the status quo for something better? Something different?

If we all have the voice of God guiding us throughout our lives, then it just becomes a matter of whether or not we are listening.

If we ignore it, life can still be good. We can live in a great place, have a family, learn a skill, become a master in that skill and become “successful”. But will our souls be satisfied?

If we listen, we could end up anywhere doing anything and it may not be the “stable” normal life that has become the norm in our world or it may be just that. But if my soul is satisfied and I know I have followed Gods path for my life - that will make it worth it, 100 times over.

So today, give yourself a few minutes without distractions and pray or meditate silently. Allow your inner voice to speak. See what it tells you. And rather than ignore it, start to listen and take what you hear into consideration.

Are you listening?

The Opportunity All Single Adults Have - That You’re Married Friends Don’t

It’s the end of the work day. You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as you open the front door and drop your stuff just inside. 

“I’m home.” you think as you walk straight to the couch and collapse. Today was hectic. Work was insane and you are more than thankful for the day to be over.

As you sit, you start mentally mapping out your evening. “Hmmm let’s see…I could go running, try a new dinner recipe, go on a walk, join my friends for happy hour, read, spend time praying, watch TV, work on my website, get some writing done, go to yoga, etc…” the list is endless.

You have options.

And time.

Time.

It’s not something to be taken for granted.

And it happens to be what makes single life so fantastic!

Yes you may have a busy lifestyle and a busy full time job or studying schedule - but one thing you have that others do not - is time to yourself. 

Not just time to get things done, but time to focus on you - and what you want or need to do.

This is not something to take lightly or take for granted. 

I would be bold enough to say that this is the ideal time to pursue some side passions, to build skills and really spend the time needed to make yourself into the best version of yourself. This is the time to allow yourself to explore and really experiment with new ideas.

Because this phase of life is one that is precious and valuable. 

Singleness as an adult, is in a way, a gift. You have more time to yourself now than you will ever have once you’re married, and or decide to have a family.

Recently I saw a post that said something along the lines of, “your success is determined by what you do with your time outside of work”. 

The author was pointing out how much free time we actually have each and every day - and that every day, we get to make the decision of how to use our time. 

Every day we have the opportunity to choose to develop, learn, create and progress with reading, learning a new skill, taking care of our bodies with exercise, making healthy food, etc… Or we can choose to waste away our time by mindlessly watching tv or scrolling through social media.

It’s up to us.

And honestly, since reading that post I have come to the realization of just how much time I actually have at the end of my work day. 

And now that I am aware of the time I do have, I am consciously making an effort to use it to the best of my ability.

Some days “my best” includes going on a run and meal planning for the week. Other days it includes an hour long nap after a hectic day followed by some beach volleyball with friends. And some other days it includes quality time with friends and community. 

It all depends. 

But one thing I do know is that now that I am aware of the time I do have, I am consciously making an effort to use it in a beneficial manner.

And that is all that matters.

So when I catch myself scrolling mindlessly through Facebook, I pause, and ask myself what it is I should be doing instead. Am I exhausted? Would a nap be better? Am I bored? Should I instead pick up my book or join friends at the beach? Am I anxious about something and using this as a distraction? Should I pick up my bible or go on a run to clear my head?

This awareness is all that is needed to start making better decisions with my time and I would recommend that you give it a shot yourself.

So humor me and answer this question:

What time do you typically get home and what time you generally go to sleep? How many hours are there in between.

How many hours do you have?

For me it is something like 6-7 hours. That is almost as long as an entire workday. That means I have a pretty large chunk of time everyday that I get to choose what to do with.

Are you using your extra hours for your benefit or no? 

By knowing the answer to that question alone you can be on the way to changing your life.

So if it turns out you are like me and are LUCKY enough to be living the single life, embrace it, because this phase of life - this time where you can focus on yourself and use the time you do have to make yourself better - is really a gift not to be taken for granted or wasted. 

What will YOU do with the extra hours you have? Do you have a goal you want to work towards? Is there some skill you want to cultivate? Let me know in the comments below.

5 Ways To Dramatically Improve Your Sleep

It’s dark. You’re laying in bed. Staring at the ceiling. 

The house is still. It seems like the rest of the world has gone to sleep. The streets have quieted outside. You know it is sometime in the ‘middle of the night’.

You wonder what time it is. 

You glance over to your cell phone laying on the bedside table and think, ‘no, don’t look, you just checked five minutes ago’. 

Regardless, you know it will just stress you out as you think of the dwindling time you have left before you have to be awake and productive again.

Can you relate?

I know this has happened far too often to me.

So what are some easy strategies to help you turn off your brain and finally catch some well deserved zzz’s? 

Well check out some of the ideas below:

1. Get physical!

No really, get physical. Go on a run, go play some soccer, walk to the store instead of driving, dance like a maniac around your house. Just do something physical.

Its amazing what a little activity can do to your health, mental well being AND your ability to sleep.

Not only does it make you feel good. It also wears your body out physically, which will just make you that much more tired and that much more able and willing to go to sleep.

And when you have an exhausted body, its much easier to drift off to Neverland.

2. Turn off those darn electronics!

Yup, this is a classic one. And one that I am 100% guilty of myself. 

But truly - we have no idea what kind of impact staring into a bright screens really has on our eyes and our brains and thus our ability to sleep.

We are wired to respond to natural light. The sunrise and the sunset.

If you’ve ever been camping for an extended period of time you will know what I am talking about. Just a few days into your camping experience you find that you get tired as soon as it gets dark and you pop awake as soon as the sun rises above the horizon. This is how we are wired, which explains how unnatural light - like that of a laptop or cell phone screen - can mess with our heads - especially when on their fully bright setting.

3. Distract your wandering mind with stories - in particular, try to read something.

When you’re having one of those nights where you just cannot shut off the inner monologue - try distracting yourself. And since I already mentioned not staring into screens like a cellphone, laptop or tv - one of the only other options is to pick up a book.

I know what you may be thinking - but I hate reading!

First of all, a book nerd like myself thinks you’re crazy. But since I know there are many others like you out there in the world, let me say this.

If your goal is to fall asleep, is it really all that bad to pick up a book? I mean if your main complaint is that you always fall asleep reading because it’s sooo boring - isn’t this the perfect choice to get yourself to fall asleep?

And if you’re like me and love books then you know the mental escape alone will eventually break the mental running monologue taking over your thoughts. And it will eventually allow you to sleep. (Just remember - for those of us who love books - to stay away from those thrillers or you just might stay awake all night because it’s sooo good - and that just defeats the purpose.)

4. Avoid stimulants after early afternoon - if not completely.

Any other caffeine addicts out there? Raise your hands! Yup. Me too.

Anyone else get shaky and weirdly wired after drinking coffee? I do.

Anyone else have to lay off the caffeine after a certain time of day because you know it screws with your sleep schedule? Yup. Once again, that is me.

So why is it so hard to lay off the coffee? Habit maybe. Social expectation possibly. Just because its sitting there in the office and its free and its warm and I just want something that tastes and smells yummy next to me all day and I never think about the consequences until its too late. That too.

So for another somewhat obvious one - avoid the stimulants. Whatever that may be. For me it is caffeine and coffee. For others green tea or dark chocolate may have the same effect. For others coffee may do nothing - but their afternoon energy drink is their vice. 

So if you know you struggle with something like this try to cut down, if not completely cut out. Or at least create new rules for yourself in order to give yourself more and better rest later in the evening. You won’t regret it when you finally crawl into bed and awake rested the next morning.

5. Pray or meditate.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Slowly now.

Do it again.

Focus.

Can you feel the coolness of your breath as you take a breath in? Now do you feel the warmth as it escapes your lips and you breathe out?

As you breathe out think about one of the things that has been stressing you out. With the next breath in - choose to recognize it - and with the next breath out - let it go. Do this with each of your worries and keep repeating until you feel a sense of calm descend upon your mind and body.

Now spend some time talking to God about whatever is going on in your life. Really allow yourself to bring up all of the thoughts stressing you out, bring it forth, ask for guidance or help and with each breath out choose to let it go.

As you work your way through this practice, slowly but surely you should feel your entire body relax and release the pent up frustrations, worries and stresses from the day which hopefully allow you to drift into sleep.

So from what you can see above, getting sleep is really all about living in a healthy manner and listening to our bodies. Rather than hyping it up on stimulants to get through the day, it may actually be better to attempt to sleep better so as to not need the stimulants any longer.

And rather than keep ourselves awake unnaturally late into the evening, it may be worth readjusting our clocks to one that more closely matches the sunrise and sunset.

And when it comes to being tired it can be great to have BOTH a tired mind and body.

And those worries and stresses that keep you up at night? Try to find something to calm and bring yourself to a place of restfulness just before falling asleep.

Because ultimately, whether we flourish on 4 hours of sleep or we need 9, we all need sleep of some amount. And the better quality and the easier it is to come by, the better for us, our mental well being, our work performance and ultimately how we experience life.

Do you have any tips of your own? If so, please share them in the comments below or join the new Facebook Group, The Rested Entrepreneur to share your thoughts and ideas!