Are You A Human Being?

Or are you a Human Doing?

Have you ever paused to consider what human being, the very words we use to describe ourselves, really mean?

hu-man be-ing (noun) a man, woman, or child of the species Homo sapiens, distinguished from other animals by superior mental development, power of articulate speech, and upright stance.

Is it a surprise that the very term we use to describe our species, humanity in general, has the word BEING in it?

Now what does being mean?

be-ing

1. present participle of be
2. existence

And be? Well be means to exist.

So what is it with our obsession to constantly be in action? To constantly be doing?

Yesterday at church, a friend asked me how I was, and all I could answer was that I was busy.

Busy.

Really? Is that what I am? At my current emotional and physical state, is that what I am?

As I walked away I had the unsettling feeling that I had said something that I didn’t agree with. I wasn’t busy. I am. I am a person. I am a soul. Granted I am a person living in a season of chaos. I am confused. My mind is constantly streaming. I am starting a new job, finishing up my certification as a Certified Health Coach (I will be done in about a week, yay!). Starting an online business course and still getting settled into a new life. But I know this is a season, and no matter how crazy it may feel, it shouldn’t define me. 

It doesn’t define me.

Yet, once again I found that busy word slipping out of my mouth.

I know this isn’t just me. Ask any five people how they are in America - or granted most first world countries - and I can almost guarantee that at least one if not three will respond with something similar to busy.

What caused us to lose touch with the very essence of being human?

To sit still. To listen to the life pumping from our hearts. To calm our thoughts. To focus on our breath. To spend time in prayer, meditation or reading sacred texts?

Is it social media? A focus on success? Technology? The pace of the world? High work expectations? The “American Dream”? What?

It could be all of them, it could be none of them. Regardless, it has happened, and I think humanity has suffered as a collective due to it.

We have lost touch with others, with the natural world, our own bodies and with our creator.

The constant action of doing has become an addiction. An idol. Something we define ourselves by. 

I think it is time to change.

It is time we learn how to listen to our bodies. To understand what it is we really need. To spend time with family. To cultivate close friendly and romantic relationships. To stare at our partners in bed, rather than our phones before falling asleep. 

To notice the sweet smelling flowers in bloom as we run (Santa Barbara is absolutely bursting with floral scents along every sidewalk - jasmine, orange blossoms, roses and much more - it is amazing!). To spend time staring at and appreciating the nature that surrounds us - whether snow piled high or red rocks glowing as the sun sets or the mountains emerging from the darkness as the sun rises - it is all beautiful and an amazing gift.

To recognize what our bodies are really feeling. Recognize when we are exhausted and allowing ourselves to stop and sleep. Recognize that our bodies tell us what they want if we just pay attention. Be willing to experiment with foods to learn what makes us feel our best.

To recognize that there is something greater than ourselves in this universe and beyond. To allow our soul exploration and discovery. To allow ourselves to connect with God.

The concepts of fighting through life and pulling yourself up by the bootstraps are motivating, yes - but personally, I am starting to believe they are wrong.

We are meant to depend on God. To depend on one another. On the community around us. We are relational beings. 

When we unclench our fists and let go of the control we want over our lives- and give it over to God, something amazing happens. The pressure is lifted. It is no longer us against the world instead it is us with God. 

He gave us our individual desires and abilities for a reason. 

There is a reason I am so in love with Cape Town, South Africa that I went to live there for 2.5 years and have left a bit of myself there (and will be back again!).

There is a reason I have the dream to start my own business.

A reason I started this blog.

I do not believe that giving up control means giving up on your dreams - rather it is lifting them from our shoulders. Giving them over to a power far greater than our own. Giving ourselves the ability to be calm, to listen, to live and ultimately - just BE.

So join me. Choose to alleviate the pressure and focus on how you can change the way you look at yourself and your life so when someone asks, how are you? the answer is no longer just busy - rather it is something more. Because you are more than what you are doing. You are a HUMAN BEING.

Time To Rest

What are your associations with REST?

Are they positive? Negative?

If you live in America or another results-oriented culture, rest tends to have a negative association.

We often see stories glorifying the overworked, under slept, successful entrepreneur who manages to build a business despite all odds, no matter the time and cost to his/her personal life. And we look to these stories for inspiration. As the example of what we want to be. And what we want to be able to do.

We believe that the only way to success is to burn the candle on both ends. Schedule life so you can do it all.

Have a family, start a business, work full time, build the perfect body, etc, etc… 

And the crazy thing is we believe it!

We believe anyone can do it with the right motivation and tools.

We often think the only thing standing in the way is the right schedule, the right morning routine or the perfect planner.

Millions of dollars are made by people in this segment creating perfect planners, helping you design that perfect routine, or teaching you to multitask like a boss so NOTHING can get in your way.

So what is wrong with this? 

Is there something wrong with this?

And what about the people who have managed to find real success in this matter?

Well, to them I say - amazing! What you’ve managed to do is impressive - and it is possible. Many people don’t have a choice and have to live the overworked lifestyle just to survive. And they do it. And they make it work. Sometimes for a season and sometimes longer - but yes it is possible.

However, do I think it should be considered the norm for success or even glorified? 

No. Not at all.

I think the glorification of the overworked entrepreneur or successful business person who has climbed the ranks to success and fame is a damaging idol for our culture. 

And not a very realistic one at that.

I can say with near certainty that almost every one of us knows someone who fits this description of "doing it all" at once. And many of us have seasons in our lives where this is us. 

We also know, deep in our gut, whether we want to admit it or not, that this lifestyle is not sustainable. That in fact, it is dangerous. That living this way risks damaging our health, our relationships, our alertness and ultimately ourselves.

Study after study have shown the negative effects of little rest on the human body. We are all a bit different in terms of what we may need, but the one commonality between us, is a need for rest. 

REAL REST. 

So what is REST?

Rest is allowing your body and mind to stop. It’s saying no to the social obligations on the weekend. It’s giving your body an off day from the gym. It’s spending quality family time reconnecting, without the demands of work or technology interrupting. 

Rest is allowing yourself to pause. To take a deep breath. To meditate. To pray. To be creative. To play music. To read. To do relaxing yoga or enjoy a lazy walk on the beach. Rest is down time. It’s turning the mind off.

Rest is so simple and yet so complicated.

And at one point in time it was the norm.

It wasn’t that long ago that on a Sunday, shops either weren’t open or had very limited hours. You couldn’t go grocery shopping or to the mall. In fact, when I was living in South Africa this was common. Not in the city, but if you were in a small town, good luck getting any shopping done on a Sunday (especially after 2pm). 

South Africa has a culture that understands rest and holiday. That understands Sundays are for time with God and time with your family.

A big family lunch was the norm after church on Sunday, where friends and family gathered to make food, break bread together and rest (even completely pass out on the couch next to one another).

I am sad that this isn’t the norm here in the US and really believe it is something that needs to be brought back.

Instead in the States, a Sunday is like any other day of the week. Shops are open, people are out and about, students are grinding through their homework and people treat it as just another day of the week.

When did this change?

When did we lose the ability to stop?

When did we start to look down upon those who take time off for themselves to enjoy life, their families and the other joys of life?

When did we forget how to turn off? How to rest?

I have a number of theories. Everything from the workaholic “American Dream” culture that keeps this country running to our materialistic desires that would have motivated businesses to keep their doors open on a Sunday because it was and is a great day for sales. There are a myriad of reasons and I’m sure they all played a part.

Regardless, I think we need to take the rest day back. 

Each one of us needs to make a commitment to ourselves. To our families. 

We need to make a commitment to allow ourselves to rest - without guilt, without fear, without the need for distraction. To allow ourselves to really listen to our bodies and be willing to respond, even if that request is as simple as going to take a nap - and not feel guilty about it. 

We need to structure our lives so that we CAN have a rest day each week.

Can you imagine the impact this could have on you - your family - even your creative mind?

By allowing yourself time and space you never know what kind of creative revelations may come. 

It’s why I believe we hear so many stories of people having genius ideas pop in their minds while showering or doing something repetitive like running. These are moments in our daily routine when we aren’t thinking about anything in particular and our thoughts wander.

Now imagine structuring this time into your life for an entire day, once a week, for the rest of your life.

Can you imagine what would happen?

I can’t. But I bet it would be awesome.

So I have decided.

As of today, I commit to myself to set aside time once a week where I allow myself to shut off. To not feel guilty for allowing myself to rest. To sleep. To do those creative things that make me come alive, yet continuously put off.

I would bet that even with the perceived lost time, I will make more progress and be more productive than ever before in the time I do have.

So will you join me?

Will you commit to give yourself time to rest? To shut off?

Because I bet we will all see amazing results.

A Miracle on Leap Day

So yesterday, on Leap Day - the 29th of February - that only happens once every four years, I had a miracle. 

I found a full time job.

I’m pretty sure that nearly everyone has experienced first hand the tough reality of finding work.

Finding part time work is tough enough. I applied to many different positions and found that I was often “not what we are looking for” or due to my age (a young nearly 26 year old) and experience “you seem overqualified for such a position”. 

As much as a few of these comments from various potential employers may hold true, it doesn’t mean I didn’t need the work. In todays US economy, a college degree is quickly becoming the equivalent of what a high school degree once was - with many 20-something-college-grads ending up in jobs that yes may be fun and lead to interesting lifestyles, but are also far underpaid what our parents expected after graduating from college - with much higher debt.

So with that in mind, I didn’t allow these comments to get me down and instead continued the battle to find consistent work in a location I love - Santa Barbara. 

Yes, some people probably consider me to be crazy to move to an expensive and desirable California location without a job. But then again, ever since I decided to move to Cape Town, South Africa for 2.5 years - the crazy comments from friends and family have dramatically decreased. (I think I’ve just become “one of those people” who manages to do crazy things that others deem irresponsible, dangerous, spontaneous and just “too out there for a young woman like yourself”.)

But I did it anyway.

I know Santa Barbara is the place I want to be. A place where I enjoy the lifestyle and can honestly live pretty cheaply (other than rent). Currently I am traveling via bike (so no car payments or gas, yay!) and spend most of my off time enjoying free outdoor activities like beach volleyball, running and hiking with friends. I cook nearly every meal at home (low restaurant bills AND healthy food) and don't drink much when I do go out (low alcohol bills). So yes it is possible to do.

Regardless of this, I still knew I needed a steady income. 

My first step was to reach out to independent entrepreneurs who needed help with some of their marketing - and a month ago landed my first freelance gig.

Then last week I signed on a second marketing client.

Both of them brought in some funds - but nowhere near enough to cover rent and basic expenses (even with all of my cost cutting strategies above) - so I knew I had to keep looking.

So I did.

And on Sunday I had a particularly difficult conversation with my parents about running into dead end after dead end on the full time job hunt. 

It turns out, most of the job hunt is knowing people on the inside blended with pure luck, and up until yesterday, I didn’t have that mix quite figured out yet.

In fact, on Friday, I found myself taking a further step into the unknown by officially becoming a California resident (my Rhode Island license sadly now has a hole in it) and registering to vote as a Californian (side note: to all those millennials, please, please, please get out and vote and make sure that our wonderful USA is not run by a crazy man - please for the sake of all of us who want to travel internationally ever again and don’t want another world war - ok rant over).

I was becoming a California resident with no job and only an address in the area to prove that I was living there. To some people it would seem, what was I thinking?

I was thinking that I needed to step out in FAITH and BELIEVE. Believe the gut feeling that I was supposed to be here in Santa Barbara. The gut feeling that had me telling friends over a year ago that I would likely move back to Santa Barbara when I returned to the States.

So I followed that sense and found some awesomely generous friends (thanks Mike & Amanda!) to crash with who didn’t even try to push me out after a week. And then found my the ideal home with a young woman I met on Craigslist, in a part of town where I could easily access most of the downtown and beach by bike. How PERFECT is that?

The “only” thing missing was a job. This wasn’t a small “only”. It could make or break my ability to stay in the area. 

I knew I had a bit of a cushion, but also knew that I had limited time - so had to find something NOW.

Anyway, that is how I got to where I am now.

Application after application seemed to land on deaf ears. I was talking and meeting people - but a job in marketing - that I was qualified for - where I knew the right people - just didn’t seem to exist. 

I was losing hope.

I was looking at every alternative hoping that something could work.

My blog? Could I make money with it? Could I start another website and sell a product? If so, what? Could I utilize my studies in nutrition to actually start a health coaching business? Is this really what I wanted to do? 

Question after question swirled in my mind daily - but nothing seemed viable enough to make money quickly. And if I was honest with myself, I knew that I didn’t want part of a quick rich scheme. Rather I wanted to build a tribe over time. A community of people who feel empowered by what I write. People who enjoy what I have to say. People who trust me.

A community that I can be generous with - and vulnerable with.

A community that wants to connect. That wants something more than just another flashy website and brand trying to sell something.

Sure, there is great likeliness that this will morph with time. I may further narrow my focus (and I’ve got a few ideas up my sleeve that I’m thinking about launching soon). I may offer one on one coaching with people in health and in transition. I may write a book or launch an online course or offer an E-book. Honestly, who knows. 

As of right now, all I know is I want be genuine. And I want you - as the reader - to feel that honesty radiating from me to you.

So thats what I’m doing.

And as it turns out, yesterday I went to an interview thinking I would be rejected once again. And rather than be rejected, I was offered another position in the company that is opening up next week. In fact, the young woman who has the position is leaving next Tuesday for her new job and they were very excited at the prospect of having me there to shadow her until she leaves.

So I walked out the door with a job offer.

A job offer that brings stability. A job offer with benefits. And one that means I can stay here and truly make this place home.

It doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned my dream of starting my own company. Far from it.

Rather, this is the stability I need to make my dream a reality. Without the stress of money constantly pressing down, and with my frugal habits I know this allows me to focus full time (outside of work) on building this community and building something that hopefully in the next few years, does work and does provide the lifestyle as well as the financial security I need for the long haul.

So I start tomorrow.

Yes it will be a challenge. Yes it will be a change. And yes I am terrified about everything I am about step into. 

But as I know from life’s experiences, God always places you where you are supposed to be. He knows what He is doing even when we don’t. 

So I expect this to be a learning experience. One where I will grow and gain new skills. One where I will fail. One where I will succeed. And one where ultimately, I will be glad it happened.

So as I cycle (uphill, mind you) to work tomorrow I will keep this in mind and remember that this is just one more stepping stone in my journey of life.